1. Heavy Cream will catch fire under a hot stove element. (This will now be reenacted every year as the Eternal Thanksgiving Flame, symbolizing the Puritan's discovery of fire).


2. Burning heavy cream will attract approximately 30-40 flies from nowhere. This is either clear cut proof that abiogenesis does occur or that Beezlebub made a silent appearance at the potluck.


3. I’ll always forget to serve the dish cooked in the microwave.


4. Playdough will form class crystals shards if left long enough alone.


5. Sherlock Holmes learned how to identify hundreds of tobaccos by taste, probably during an opium rant. But he probably didn’t sample the tobacco Sir Walter Raleigh was buried with. Unless he had had a lot of opium.


6. There a lot of things that second baseman Bill Wambsganss can do all by himself during a World Series Game. And some of them are legal.


7. The Trypnophantom would be an awesome name for a Silver Age villain. Especially if he utilized the Drumzzzzzzticks of Doom!

Labels: Holiday Daze, My Heroes Have Always Worn Spandex, Sheer Awesome, The Secret of Fire, Who the Hell is Bill Wambsganss