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Saturday, September 27, 2008 Breathing on a Whole New Level Last night, I went to a Breathwork workshop at my church, the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Gainesville, led by Zen master Al Rapaport. I have been interested in Eastern philosophy/alternative practices for a while (Zen, yoga, chiropractic care, Reiki, etc.), but have never looked more into it for myself. Why, I'm not sure. Fear, probably -- I've found it difficult to take those first steps in my adult life, and I'm not sure how to be more comfortably adventurous. As I was going to the workshop, I was worried about getting there on time, if I was properly prepared, if I would get uncomfortably emotional, and more. I felt very self-conscious and nervous, and I'd even considered turning around and going home. I hadn't, after all, let anyone know I was planning to go (I even waited until the night before to see if Jeff cared if I went). Still, I went. There were, thankfully, others there for whom this was a "first time". After an explanation about chakras, full oxygenation, and the technique, we got started with the exercise and immediately, I started to feel a tingling sensation all over my face and head, and tears started to come. I at first wanted to stop, and get my emotions in check, as I normally do, but I let go of that self-consciousness and just let it be. Overall, it was an amazing experience, though my focus kept being drawn back to my own body -- my mouth wanted to close and I had to rest my hands on my cheeks to keep it open; my sinuses became so full I couldn't breathe through my nose even if I needed to; my right shoulder pain returned when I was trying to place my arms where my body wanted them to go; and my right sciatic started to hurt. These short brief interruptions brought me back to the moment and pulled my focus back to the present and my typical thoughts -- constant and overlapping. However, for the majority of the time, I was able to go beyond my mind chatter. There were several times when I felt strong waves of emotion, and in these times, I realized that the technique of breathing that we were using is one that my body chooses on its own when I am uncontrollably emotional, which only happens when I've consciously isolated myself -- it was odd for it to happen in a room of people completely unaware of what was going on. Although we were talked through the different chakra points in ascending order, my own experience was the opposite. I could feel the strongest sensations at first in my head/face area, which went down to my chest, and through the rest of the chakra points, in the opposite order of what was being directed. For me, the majority of the hour-long meditation was with a downward feeling of energy, though at the end, I felt energy moving upwards as well. I also had an experience of color -- two, actually -- initially, and almost immediately, of blue and about halfway through, when I felt this tingling energy in my midsection, of yellow/gold/orange. It was definitely a calming experience, and insightful as well. Processing it all is still unfolding, and I'm sure it will be a technique that I try again. Labels: Kristin, meditation, spirituality, stress ------------------------------------------------
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