Saturday, September 27, 2008
Breathing on a Whole New Level
Last night, I went to a Breathwork workshop at my church, the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Gainesville, led by Zen master Al Rapaport. I have been interested in Eastern philosophy/alternative practices for a while (Zen, yoga, chiropractic care, Reiki, etc.), but have never looked more into it for myself. Why, I'm not sure. Fear, probably -- I've found it difficult to take those first steps in my adult life, and I'm not sure how to be more comfortably adventurous.
As I was going to the workshop, I was worried about getting there on time, if I was properly prepared, if I would get uncomfortably emotional, and more. I felt very self-conscious and nervous, and I'd even considered turning around and going home. I hadn't, after all, let anyone know I was planning to go (I even waited until the night before to see if Jeff cared if I went). Still, I went. There were, thankfully, others there for whom this was a "first time".
After an explanation about chakras, full oxygenation, and the technique, we got started with the exercise and immediately, I started to feel a tingling sensation all over my face and head, and tears started to come. I at first wanted to stop, and get my emotions in check, as I normally do, but I let go of that self-consciousness and just let it be. Overall, it was an amazing experience, though my focus kept being drawn back to my own body -- my mouth wanted to close and I had to rest my hands on my cheeks to keep it open; my sinuses became so full I couldn't breathe through my nose even if I needed to; my right shoulder pain returned when I was trying to place my arms where my body wanted them to go; and my right sciatic started to hurt. These short brief interruptions brought me back to the moment and pulled my focus back to the present and my typical thoughts -- constant and overlapping. However, for the majority of the time, I was able to go beyond my mind chatter.
There were several times when I felt strong waves of emotion, and in these times, I realized that the technique of breathing that we were using is one that my body chooses on its own when I am uncontrollably emotional, which only happens when I've consciously isolated myself -- it was odd for it to happen in a room of people completely unaware of what was going on. Although we were talked through the different chakra points in ascending order, my own experience was the opposite. I could feel the strongest sensations at first in my head/face area, which went down to my chest, and through the rest of the chakra points, in the opposite order of what was being directed.
For me, the majority of the hour-long meditation was with a downward feeling of energy, though at the end, I felt energy moving upwards as well. I also had an experience of color -- two, actually -- initially, and almost immediately, of blue and about halfway through, when I felt this tingling energy in my midsection, of yellow/gold/orange. It was definitely a calming experience, and insightful as well. Processing it all is still unfolding, and I'm sure it will be a technique that I try again.
Labels: Kristin, meditation, spirituality, stress
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Need Healing Thoughts for Friend
A very close friend of mine here just had a natural miscarriage this weekend at 14 weeks. She passed the baby at home on Monday morning, and is completely devastated. Please, if you can spare a moment, light a candle, say a prayer, observe a moment of silence, or whatever feels right for you, and hope that she, her husband, and their older children are able to get through just this moment.
Labels: spirituality
Friday, August 31, 2007
Everything's Possible
At Chalice Choir practice last night, we started going over a new song entitled "Everything's Possible" that has a main solo, and the choral parts start with oohs and ahhs through most of it. Well, about halfway through the song, we start to sing actual words, and I realized while singing them that I didn't have the feeling behind it, and was only singing words.
So, I decided, while the choir director was going over the men's parts with them, to go back and actually read the song's lyrics to know the sentiment behind the song, and sing with the appropriate emotion -- and I had to try desperately not to cry. It was such a heartfelt love song to a child, filled with the promise of unconditional support, I had a hard time getting back into the moment. So, of course, today I had to try and search for the lyrics to share, and found a version of it on YouTube. So, here it is to share with others; may you also have unconditional love and support throughout your life.
Everything's Possible
We have cleared off the table
The leftovers saved
Washed the dishes, and put them away
I have told you a story
And tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sail
To carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Some girls grow up strong and bold
Some boys are quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some grow in their own space and time
Some women love women
And some men love men
Some raise children, and some never do
You can dream all the day, never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.
Don't be rattled by names, by taunts or games,
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.
You can be anybody that you want to be
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself
You can gather friends around
You can choose one special one
But the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're gone.
Oh yes, the love you leave behind when you're gone
Music and lyrics by Fred Small.
Labels: Kristin, music, spirituality, Unitarian Universalism
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Teaching (and Learning) Life Lessons
While visiting PHAT Mommy's blog, a site I sometimes visit for inspiration, ideas, and just to spend some time, I came across a link from her site entitled "27 Skills Your Child Needs to Know That She's Not Getting In School". Intrigued, I went ahead and visited the link, and found a good list of skills that I'd like to give my children in life.
Of the ones they mentioned, I think we're already working on several, and need to be more proactive on others:
1) Financial: Jeff and I haven't specifically worked on this with Parker, though we've been talking about allowance recently. I think this is one of those really important ones that we still feel a little crippled by -- we've talked off and on about investing, but are still clueless enough to continue to not move forward with this.
2) Thinking: We do a lot of reading and discussing things out, so I think we're at least on the right track here. Perhaps we're still at too young an age to explore this more fully?
3) Success: I can't help but think this is something that is cultivated, not taught, and that the root of it is self-esteem. We are trying to instill the best self-esteem possible in our children, and hopefully this will be reflected in motivation and passion. My personal opinion is that procrastination is a learned problem. I know that I am a procrastinator, and part of that is due to fear of failure for some things, and the fact that it doesn't take me long to do others, and why do it before the due date or you'll be given busy work (the latter was learned very early for me in school).
4) Social: Being an "attachment parent" has led to really focusing on the social aspects, especially positive discipline, learning to express feelings instead of using hurtful actions, working together, sharing, etc. We use a lot of compassion/love talk, and although we do have occassional issues, especially with the two as siblings, they do pretty well in other settings. There is always continued work to do, especially in modeling how to resolve situations where feelings overshadow facts.
5) Practical: Oh, we're all learning this at the same time. I think it is an advantage to being home with the children -- they get to see what is involved in "keeping a house". Now the car part is also valuable, but we're not equipped to teach that.
6) Happiness: It feels that this is where our focus has switched lately, and it is also linked inextricably to the other categories. We've become much more involved in our community, including finding a spiritual home for our family (we became members this past Sunday of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Gainesville -- neither Jeff nor I have ever been members of an organized "church" of any kind before, so this is a pretty big step!). We (Jeff and I) are trying to be more in the present, and not so much worrying about the future, but that is harder, especially as a homeschooler, I think!
All in all, I think this is a great list to provide food for thought. I don't know that all of them can be taught as much as modeled, though, but luckily we still have a bit of time.
Labels: community, family, homeschooling, Jeff, Kristin, spirituality
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Making a Joyful Noise
Today, I joined about 26 other members and friends of UUFG in the Chalice Choir Retreat. I'd been debating on whether or not I could commit to the time that will be involved in being part of the choir -- meeting Thursday nights from 7:45 to 9:30 pm, getting to Fellowship by 10 am on Sundays, and performing with the group during service.
My reasons for not feeling sure I can commit is how it isn't fair to Jeff. If I am doing this, it means that, especially during Fellowship, he is responsible for the kids. I know from experience that it isn't terribly fun, and you can't necessarily hear as much of the sermon then, especially if you are in the Window Room in the back, since often adults will go back there to just talk (and the kids are loud enough). So, I figure I'll do this for a little while, and then re-evaluate a little later, maybe the end of September, unless it is obvious before that that this won't work out.
I do know that I enjoy singing again in a choir, and I feel a release in doing so. It is also nice to be doing it while expressing my spirituality, singing songs that often move me as well. One of the songs we are doing tomorrow is entitled "Because You Live" by composer Adolphus Hailstork, and it is just beautiful. Here are the lyrics, which are based off of a poem written by Bessie Stanley entitled Success (it is often referred to as a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson for some reason):
To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and to endure the betrayal of friends
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in all others
To leave the world a little better
whether by a social condition
or a garden patch
or a healthy child
To know even one life has been easier because you live
This is to have succeeded.
Labels: Kristin, spirituality, Unitarian Universalism
Thursday, June 28, 2007
A non-Cook Volunteering Food?
So, I'm volunteering, through our Fellowship, to help provide food for our local IHN (Interfaith Hospitality Network), and this is the first time I'm bringing something. I'm supposed to bring coleslaw and dessert to feed 16 people, and I want it to be flavorful and healthy, without being typical. I'm thinking of bringing two types of coleslaw, so that people can have a choice, and want a dessert that is rich and healthful. Now, gotta figure out something that I can do!!!
Edited to add: Finally decided to make simple coleslaw -- use prepackaged slaw and store-bought dressing. Not happy about it, but with the short time I have, it is the best option. Now the dessert -- we opted to make ambrosia with fresh whipped cream and also pistachio salad, again with fresh whipped cream (essentially, same fruit, same whipped cream, different preparation!).
Labels: community, Kristin, spirituality, Unitarian Universalism, volunteerism
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Happy Solstice!
Officially at 7:22 pm EST (4:22 pm PST), it will be the Winter Solstice -- the longest night of the year!! Traditionally, people have lit candles and burned the "Yule log" this night (think of the song "Deck the Halls"!!), and decorate with evergreens and holly. From here on out, there is MORE sunshine each day, and one step CLOSER to Spring!!!
May your day be Blessed and the coming days be merry!
Labels: spirituality