Friday, January 24, 2003
Common Sense has no Place in Common Law
Welcome to the land that lacks common sense:
The Stellas are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are 2002's finalists:
- Kathleen Robertson of Austin, TX, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
- 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
- Terrance Dickson of Bristol, PA was leaving a house he had just finished robbing, by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage had locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the owner's insurance company, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.
- Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The amount was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
- A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, PA $113,000 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.
- Kara Walton of Claymont, DE successfully sued the owners of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window of the ladies' room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
- This year's favorite could easily be Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, OK. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his trip home, he drove onto the freeway, set the cruise control at 70mph, and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back to make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company changed its manuals based this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.
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