Saturday, September 25, 2004
Dreaming Anxiety
Within the past 24 hours, I've had two bizarre dreams (I haven't been remembering any of my dreams for a long time. Both of these were during naps, though). After looking up their possible meanings and thinking about how it might apply, Jeff and I both agree that my dreams are anxiety-driven over my desire for a vaginal birth. I guess seeing the OB who oversees my midwife care brought those fears back to the forefront. It is hard knowing that any time between now and when this baby comes that this man could simply pull the rug out from under me, and essentially forbid me from VBACing, at least with him, or in that hospital.
After our OB appointment, we also pre-registered at the hospital, and one of the things you have to sign is this blanket consent form. I don't think most people bother to read it, because the processor kinda rolled her eyes and sat back when I didn't just sign. But, having heard how some other VBAC-planning moms have been sectioned without their consent when they came in pushing, I needed to make sure this couldn't happen to us. The only questionable statement on the form was the following: "I understand that, absent emergency or extraordinary circumstances, major medical or surgical procedures will not be performed upon me unless and until I have had an opportunity to discuss the risks and benefits of the procedure or treatment with the physician or other healthcare professional." I added the phrase: "Where emergency is expressed and understood." Now I'm wondering if I should have also added: "Where extraordinary does not encompass a previous cesarean section."
Looking over the whole form again, I'm seeing other little things that could be used to impose things that we don't agree with or want, as it could lead to a cascade of interventions. Maybe I should go back and ask to amend it again. Think they'd "let" me do that?
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