Thursday, November 18, 2004
Mixed Results on my GTT Follow-up.
I am pretty upset and frustrated right now. First off, let me say that according to all standards that I can find (including the American Diabetic Association), I PASSED my 3-hour glucose tolerance test. My fasting value was 90 (cutoff is 105); my half-hour value was 151 (no cutoff has been made standard); m 1-hour value was 149 (cutoff is 190); my 2-hour value was 136 (cutoff is 165); and my 3-hour value was 77 (cutoff is 145).
However, they STILL want me to go see a diabetes counselor and to monitor my blood sugars. They have not given me a good reason, just that they are "recommending" it. The cost isn't prohibitive to do the counseling and get the monitor and all, but will make things VERY tight around here, as our budget is lean right now (so, no, we probably WON'T be able to go anywhere for ANY holiday, as the money that would have to be used was allocated to that).
I am considering just saying "no", but I'm afraid that at 30 weeks, they will "drop" me as a client, and I'll have to try to find some other VBAC-friendly practice in this area, where I currently have the "best" chance. I don't feel, emotionally, that I should have to follow-through on a treatment for something I do NOT have. Would it hurt me to just monitor my blood sugars? No, not exactly -- emotionally, yes, as I'll be thinking about this every single day, even though I DO NOT HAVE gestational diabetes, rather than focusing on preparing for labor and birth; physically, kinda -- sticking my finger 4 times a day to test my blood, and having to deal with keeping Parker out of the equipment, etc. is minor, but still a hassle; spiritually -- it already has, honestly.
I feel like I have no chance to just be "normal", even when the tests I take say I am. I feel like noone will just give me a chance at some peace, even when I jump through their hoops. The big focus they have is on not producing a "large" baby, because Parker was 9 lbs. 4 oz. I never even labored with him, so for all we know I could have had him vaginally with no difficulties. I gained 20 pounds with Parker, and so far, have only gained 8 (at 30 weeks). I've been keeping somewhat active now that my nausea/vomiting is over. I've been eating healthy, not having cravings (which means, not eating sweets), and have been making sure I'm drinking water. I am just so sick of this, honestly. I keep hearing the other pregnant moms here not having to fight every step of the way, it seems, and I'm just tired of it.
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