Monday, January 23, 2006
4-year-old Parenting Sucks.
I am just BONE-TIRED of asking Parker to stop knocking Kira down when they are "playing". She's just learned to walk, and is still not 100% steady (not that anyone would stay standing if they were pushed!), and he keeps knocking her over, which causes her to fuss (the frustrated cry) and him to dart furtive looks my way. I have done time out, I've explained to him logically how that isn't a nice way to play, etc., etc., etc. Today, I spanked him. It was stupid, unfruitful, and entirely out of frustration on my part. I do NOT want to be like this! I don't know what to do. Should I just ignore it? It isn't acceptable to be knocking her over though!
I have tried keeping them apart, but honestly, this is too time-consuming, and entirely unfair to Kira as much as it is to Parker -- she adores playing with him! But, I have done it as a consequence (the whole -- if you won't play nicely, you need to go play alone in your room), with no change from him. Playing alone to him isn't that much of a punishment, you know?
We've done the time out in the corner for 4 minutes, and poor Kira keeps going over wanting him to play with her. I try to keep her entertained, but it honestly feels more like a punishment to her than to him -- I HATE that she gets so frustrated that he's not playing with her, and yet, I make him stay there -- he doesn't seem to mind 4 minutes!!
We've also taken away toys -- his builder set LEGOs are currently away (as are his Star Wars sets) and he can't have them until tomorrow. He gets upset at first, but is over it and back to his bad behavior shortly.
And I just don't want to resort to any kind of physical punishment. That might be limiting me, but it makes me feel like crap, and if I allow myself to do it at all, it would soon be a slippery slope for me -- violence is in my nature, and I have been working EXTREMELY hard to keep it in check, which is why spanking him this morning about it was so disturbing to me. I need something that works, and that I can live with. I hate that everything we've tried doesn't seem to get through to him. 4-year-old parenting sucks.
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1 Cents Added:
I am a mother of a 4 year old boy and only 21 so I know I also have anger issues. I know at this age they KNOW what they are doing. I have found from my sister and her experiance that siblings will be siblings and as long as there is not any pain on either party then it should be fine. "Knocking over" a toddler is not a difficult task and could be entertaining to both of them, depending on the childs personality. I have a 2 year old step daughter and I find them playing together without adult "interferrence" gives them a little bit more joy. :)
By , at 5:46 PM