Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Nothing Really Matters...Including Tone, Pitch, and Reason
A night with Queen on American Idol began the only way it really could...Bucky singing Fat-Bottomed Girls. And it didn't get better from there. Ace sand the weakest "We Will Rock You" I have ever heard. Simon was a bit harsh with his response - not about Ace's performance, which was spot on, but choosing Andy Kim as the sub-standard Ace was aspiring to. "Rock Me Gently" is an awesome song, Cowell, so shut your mouth.Kellie chose "Bohemian Rhapsody", and made a complete mess of it. Her stylist apparently tried to mirror the look of Queen's floating heads from the video, which came off as a missing outtake from Thriller (could those bags get any bigger), but somehow the judges were distracted enough by her sequined jacket and fall-to-her-knees performance that they said she was good. Unfortunately, the Pickle appears to have mesmerized the rest of America too, as DialIdol predicts a smooth sail-through for her.
Chris rocked as usual, choosing "Innuendo", a more recent song that plays to his strengths. Simon called it indulgent, revealing his decision that Chris shall not make the final three. I call it smart, because it keeps him from having to be compared to a Freddy Mercury vocal. It wasn't the most captivating song, but it fit his style, and Queen was impressed.
Katharine switched songs at the last moment, and went with "Who Wants to Live Forever", a great love ballad that is totally her style. She's not as good as Freddy (who is?) or Sarah Brightman, but it's okay. The rest of America appears to disagree, as DialIdol predicts her in the bottom three. Kristin has begun a mass dialing to boost her up, with me and her sister as willing proxies. Our instant messaging soon looks like Legolas and Gimli tallying orcs.
In any case, Katherine will have a great future as a chanteuse. Like Mother, like daughter.
Elliot is just Elliot. It was good, but was is "Somebody to Love" without the big note? Not very exciting. Or memorable.
Taylor too switches songs at the last moment, and it's a good thing, because Taylor singing "We Are the Champions" would have been a disaster of Biblical proportions. Instead, he sings "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", which was great. What truly made it the performance of the night, however, was his stage act. Trying to rock it out, Taylor jumps in the air, kicks out to topple the mike stand...and misses. Undaunted, he does it again and sends it clattering. Priceless.
Paris rounds out the show, performing "Hero". Paris once again shows her knack for morphing herself to the week, looking like a miniature Mary J. Blige. Which shows she could have a fantastic Broadway career, but proving she might not have the personality to be a pop star in her own right. Simon calls her "weird", just as he calls Taylor's performance "ridiculous", cementing his decision to grant those he does not wish to sign one-word appraisals.
All in all, despite some good performances, Queen's name was ultimately tarnished. Glad to see that Prince had enough sense to stay away.
Time to change the channel to USA and hear some real singing.
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