Friday, January 19, 2007

I'm just so .... tired.

I hate not having any time for myself anymore. I have totally over-extended myself, and I can't see how to slow everything down!

I essentially am working full-time, but my own hours, which means whenever I can find the time. I have my kids to care for as well. And Parker has classes two days per week for several hours. And we're members of 6 or 7 social groups (I've honestly lost track) which often have overlapping events that I feel we need to get to. I'm sure you are thinking, "Oh, woe is Kristin", and that the simple solution would be to cut some of the groups/activities, but how do I choose?

I have friends in these that I really don't see maintaining the relationship outside of, since that's when I get to see them. And some of the groups kind of are interconnected, so if I dropped one, it would be odd to drop another. And I'm a leader in two of them, though I just passed on leadership of another (whew!). And, I don't want to hurt feelings or feel like I'm "dissing" my friends.

I'm trying to cut back on the work, and we're upping our rates to that end, and taking on fewer projects. But last year, we made as much with our business as Jeff's work salary! (Now, he makes okay money, but it isn't spectacular, so it isn't like an option would be to quit his job with its enormous benefits and just do our business).

I've considered cutting Parker's classes, but he enjoys them, and it is time that is set aside where I cannot do anything else or think about anything else, which is really a good thing. Besides, where else is he going to learn tap and ballet, and have the opportunities that the art classes or science classes or even Spanish have, where I can actually be involved too, or observe if I choose?

But I know it is out of control, too, since there are days that I'm trying to figure out how to get to several events, bring food, and arrange for time where Kira can nap if she needs to (she's intermittent in her desire to completely forego napping).

Part of it is that even when I tell Jeff that I'm getting burned out, he can't even offer suggestions or give his opinions, because he's probably feeling similarly, between his job, our business and the kids.

Labels: community, homeschooling, Kristin, simplicity, sleep, stress